Some Witty Poker Wisecracks

1.
Q. How do you clear away a poker pro from your door?
A. Pay up for your pizza.

2
Q. Do you recognize the difference between prayers at Lord's house, and prayers at all casino?
A. You really mean it at all casino.

3
Christina Aguilera famously signed up with Gamblers Anonymous.
They put a price of 3 to 1 odds she will have enough knowledge to figure out, and take advantage of the FullTiltPoker.com Ist Deposit Referral Bonus Code, delivered to her once her membership was finalized.

4.
Q. did you do it hear about the current $100 million State Lottery of Montana?
A. The winning ticket holder will be paid $100 annually for 1 million years.

5.
"That filthy partner of mine appeal to me to go to bed with the rent bill man, because the jerk bet our rental at the Aladdin hotel and casino," a young woman claimed to her cousin.

"Say you never, did you do it?" inquired the cousin.

I must spill the beans, I carried it through, nonetheless, It was with huge hesitancy. What I have bypassed, is let slip to my ball n' chain the rent bill is paid in advance for the next fourteen months!"


6.
A bloke returned to his house from his Sunday night poker game and saw his detestable Mrs waiting for him, prodcuing a broomstick.

"I hope you never gambled our wages?" barked.

"You have forty five minutes to pack your personal possessions, my treasure. I've just bet and lost you during a Texas Holdem Game.

"You told me you always win?"

"It was a hairy game. I was forced to throw away a royal flush, sorry."


7

Talking away at the Aladdin hotel and casino, some blowhard tells Gavin Smith, a brilliant poker player, about his current $10,000 vacuum-tube hearing aid.


Gavin Smith : "That sounds extravagant. What brand is it ?"

The blowhard responds : "Thanks for asking, I drive a AUDI A3. "

8
How did Chris Bjorin, a a reputable poker player, manage to ship 23 lbs of disgusting fat in under eleven days?

carved off his ugly face.

9
A pair of competing dog owners were boasting about the brightness of their dogs. "The most quick-witted dog I have ever bought," one owner said, "It was a Rottweiler who had a familiarity with card games. He proved to be a guru at Omaha hi/low, but I was impelled to have him destroyed."

"why did you have him destroyed, A dog with that aptitude? A dog with that dexterity might be priced at a fortune."

"He committed the ultimate crime," the man answered back. "He was caught by the dealer playing with marked cards!"